i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
