One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just cut my nipple shaving
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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