so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
