WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize