Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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