After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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