True but thats because hes a fetus.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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