I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
