i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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