were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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