its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
