Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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