I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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