i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
