I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
