So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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