See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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