she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
