I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
