Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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