Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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