What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
