The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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