part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
