Don't make out with my wife yet
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
