It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
