You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
