just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
