if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Can Purell be used as lube?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
