Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
