There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
a search helicopter?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
