I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
