She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
