He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
