Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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