Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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