oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
