Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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