Swine flu. Run for my life!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
