The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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