a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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