Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
