i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize