Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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