I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
