turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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