OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Boobs speak an international language.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
