if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
