Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
