I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
