That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
