It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
