East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
