I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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