Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
