oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
