awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
