The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
