I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
