I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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