Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
