Grow some girl-balls and come out already
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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